I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
