I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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