Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize