that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
