you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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