OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
