Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
