38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
