i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
