Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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