can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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