Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
