Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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