The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
