Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
