I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
