Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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