Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
