The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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