my mouth tastes like poor choices
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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