awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
