Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.

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(586): View more from Michigan

Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?

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(304): View more from West Virginia

alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2

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(502): View more from Kentucky

She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.

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(806): View more from Texas

Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

You almost set me on fire last night.

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

You probably deserved it.

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(925): View more from California

are you still alive?

(1-925): View more from California

no.

(925): View more from California

i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone

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(408): View more from California

Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried

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