Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
