if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
