'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I am one with the molecules
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
