Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
