i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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