Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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