And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
