He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
