I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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