I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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