i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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