at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
