Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
How external is "for external use only"?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
