South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize