just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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