She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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