this beer tastes like vomit already
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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