I wannas sexs uuuuu
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
