Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
