i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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