Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
