i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
