yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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