all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
