He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
