At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
