Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He better not be in your backpack
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
