your parents love me but you hate me
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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