do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
