he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
