Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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