I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
