Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
