Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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