puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
