can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
