Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
