We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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