i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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