well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I touched a dick in church today
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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