Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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