you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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