and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
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We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
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So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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