How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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